u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and she was petting her beer can
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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