you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
