We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
