I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
