I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
