i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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