i can't believe i had my finger in that
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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