If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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