I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
