NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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