meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
