I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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