did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He felt like a one man threesome
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
