The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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