This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
