Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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