He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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