im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
