YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
