I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
