this beer tastes like vomit already
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
