She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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