she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
