i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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