well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
