So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
