My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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