the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
