TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
