you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Four minutes until I can fart!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am available for nakedness
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Please don't give away my fajitas
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize