There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've blown a few things in my day
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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