Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
