A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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