oh god the rape fog is back!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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