just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
