well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
