i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
