Operation Purity has been aborted
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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