I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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