Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
