i just had sex bonerless
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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