if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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