So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
