I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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