just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
