I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
