you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
