You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
