we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize