i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
