You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize