Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
