Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
