i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
