I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
God, I missed his penis.
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