just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
