he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
