just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
