The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
