I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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