Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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